[15:15] BetterOffAloneSB: Deuce
[15:15] The Gun Show: buns
[15:15] BetterOffAloneSB: I need your help
[15:15] The Gun Show:  go on…
[15:16] BetterOffAloneSB: I’ve been thinking about having one of my legs replaced with a machine gun - similar to the unbearably hot chick on Grindhouse: Planet Terror
[15:16] The Gun Show:  okay…so what seems to be the problem?
[15:16] The Gun Show:  that’s rose mcgowan by the way…she has a name
[15:16] The Gun Show:  she’s not just some peice of meat with a machine gun strapped to it
[15:17] BetterOffAloneSB: sorry.  my bad.  well what do you think?  Its a risky operation
[15:17] BetterOffAloneSB: But I’m really thinking that the benefits outweigh the risks
[15:18] The Gun Show:  well…for starters…you’re first benefit is having a machine gun for a leg.
[15:18] BetterOffAloneSB: clearly
[15:19] The Gun Show:  second…you would be able to protect your loved ones from home predators
[15:19] BetterOffAloneSB: absolutely.
[15:19] BetterOffAloneSB: I mean…I would be awesome in some post-apocalyptic wasteland, but how do you think mainstream society would receive me now
[15:22] The Gun Show:  well…machine guns for legs right now is kinda like tattoos 10 years ago.  Over time as the younger generations who are heavily tatted get older tattoos are becoming very socialy acceptable.  You may be looked at different at first…but soon bank managers and the president will have a machine gun for a leg
[15:22] BetterOffAloneSB: wow.  you really know how to put issues like this in the proper perspective
[15:23] BetterOffAloneSB: I have another issue I’m dealing with
[15:23] The Gun Show:  continue
[15:24] BetterOffAloneSB: you know how much I like Coors Light in can - with the wide mouth that allows you such easy and consistant access to the golden nectar within
[15:24] The Gun Show:  yes Ian…the wide mouth delivers wide open refreshment…everyone likes that
[15:25] BetterOffAloneSB: you know as well as I do I love nothing more than to hear the pleasing crack of a fresh CL being opened…the cold mist spraying  a light layer of joy all over your face, the first refreshing drink…kind of like the comfort of putting on a warm sweater on a cold winter morning
[15:26] BetterOffAloneSB: but here is the dilemma I put to you.  Something that is tearing at the moral fiber of my being
[15:26] The Gun Show:  im listening…
[15:27] The Gun Show:  you’re making me a bit nervous
[15:27] BetterOffAloneSB: they now have, as I’m sure you are aware, Coors Light in a bottle with highly advanced (Developed in a secret military lab hidden high within the Rockies that the very source of Coors light originates) Temperature sensative material making up the mountain logo
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: as I’m sure you know, the mountains will change color, letting you, the educated drinker, know when your beer is at optimal temperature, and also alerting you to the fact that it may be getting dangerously warm
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: so I ask of you, friend, which do I drink from?
[15:28] The Gun Show:  correct
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: The pleasing crack of opening a cold dog in a can, or the reassurance and trust of highly developed technology in a glass bottle?
[15:29] The Gun Show:  im glad you came to me with this
[15:29] BetterOffAloneSB: God I just wish there was some way to incorporate them both
[15:29] BetterOffAloneSB: it keeps me up nights
[15:30] The Gun Show:  through my last 26 years of my worldly travels and education i’ve learned much about the splendor within each can and bottle of coors light….
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: go on…
[15:30] The Gun Show:  I know what it’s like when one’s cup overfloweth with cooors light…
[15:31] The Gun Show:  i know what it’s like when the well runneth dry…
[15:31] The Gun Show:  i’ve been there when friends and family missplace their cold tasting frost brew refrestment…and it is not a curse i wish upon my worst enemy
[15:32] The Gun Show:  I ask you now Ian…too look at this with a point of view of being out with you’re closest of friends…
[15:33] BetterOffAloneSB: go on
[15:33] The Gun Show:  picture with me if you will…You’re out on the town…lets say…they strips of Vegas…
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: im imagining it now
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: so many lights
[15:34] The Gun Show:  you and your feirce army of party animals suddenly develope a kings thirst for a frosty brew…
[15:35] BetterOffAloneSB: (But not at a Kings Ransom)
[15:35] The Gun Show:  you and your men break down the gates of the nearest bar and DEMAND tribute to your army…and they present you with a bounty of coors light…
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: at Excalibur perhaps?
[15:36] The Gun Show:  yet they present you with cans…which you can see the frost dripping from them..and the wide mouth ready to deliver nothing but the refreshing hydration your horde desires. …
[15:36] The Gun Show:  yet to your left…you see the long next bottles of glory…signaling to you that indeed…our mountains are blue…and our beer is ready for the plundering
[15:37] BetterOffAloneSB: WAIT! Are you saying I should enjoy BOTH?
[15:37] The Gun Show:  no this is where you findith your answer…
[15:37] The Gun Show:  now*
[15:38] The Gun Show:  draw up your weapons…and peirce the sides of the aluminum barrier between you and the water of the gods…and shot gun….
[15:38] The Gun Show:  THEN!
[15:38] BetterOffAloneSB: so cold. so refreshing
[15:39] The Gun Show:  you grab your bottles….RAISE THEM HIGH!!! AND CHEERS THE BOTTLES TOGETHER AND LISTEN TO THE TRIUMPHANT CLING THAT WILL BE HEARD THROUGHT OUT THE HILLS OF THE COUNTRY!
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: !!!!
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: I AM SO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: I AM RAISING THE ROOF WITH BOTH HANDS
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: there it was…the answer right in front of me all along.
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: how blind and ignorant have I been
[15:40] The Gun Show:  let me leave you with this as well
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: OF COURSE its logical to enjoy the refreshment of one in perfect harmony with the other
[15:41] The Gun Show:  when emotions are running high…and you can only choose one or the other…remember…when cheersing to the best of times…we must remember which cheers is mightier….the bottle or the can
[15:42] BetterOffAloneSB: I have had equally good cheers with both
[15:42] BetterOffAloneSB: just yesterday I was cheersing Dave and Hecker with ice cold CL cans
[15:43] The Gun Show:  i hope that i have shown you that you need not choose only one
[15:43] BetterOffAloneSB: but the satisfying clink of glass on glass is just as good
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: you truly have shown me both sides of the issua
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: i couldn’t ask for a better understanding than the one I have now
[15:44] The Gun Show:  now go Ian…and show everyone that you needn’t settle for one
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: I can only hope that we can put these theoretical issues into practice in Vegas in a couple weeks.
[15:45] The Gun Show:  ah yes…and we shall
[15:45] BetterOffAloneSB: I shall cheers you with both bottle and can, sing it from the mountain tops that CLEGS shall rise again
[15:45] The Gun Show:  it is possible that you are the chosen one to bring clegs back to order…
[15:46] BetterOffAloneSB: I feel fate calling me
[15:46] The Gun Show:  well ian…i must depart now…
[15:46] The Gun Show:  be strong
[15:46] The Gun Show:  and go with your heart

[15:47] BetterOffAloneSB: thank you.  I am forever in your debt.  We shall reconvene in Las Vegas, Nevada in two weeks time…and Victory shall be ours
[15:47] The Gun Show:  Maybe we should practice our Poker for Vegas.  Try out this Poker Download on your computer!
[15:47] The Gun Show:  HUZZAH!
[15:47] *** “The Gun Show” signed off at Mon Jan 07 15:47:55 2008.

As you all know, HALO3 came out today.  And, as you all know, I did not pre order, however, Casey did.  As usual, Casey rubbed this fact in my face, letting me know that his plans for the night were to suit up as Master Chief and have his way with the covenant  until the sun came up.  I have to admit, that caused a bit of jealousy on my part. This extremely awkward situation caused the following conversation to ensue:

[15:25] The Gun Show: hey…ask me what im going to do tonight
[15:25] BetterOffAloneSB: ok.
[15:25] BetterOffAloneSB: what are you doing tonight
[15:27] The Gun Show: oh…hey Ian…funny you should have totally asked me that randomly.  I’ll be sitting in front of my 50 inch television putting myself of the shoes of the master chief and playing halo 3 till the sun comes up
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: you
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: bastard
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: im still looking around for a copy of skate
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: and here you are playing HALO3
[15:28] The Gun Show: oh…you mean you didn’t pre order your own copy of HALO3?
[15:28] The Gun Show: that just seems some what irresponsible
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: no
[15:29] The Gun Show: wow…that’s gonna really taper your fun levels for the weak
[15:30] The Gun Show: er… *week
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: is it sold out?
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: do you already have it?
[15:30] The Gun Show: sorry…i was just thinking about how "weak" it is you can’t play halo3.
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: dude
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: srsly
[15:30] The Gun Show: yeah…we had an inside man pick it up last night
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: as my friend
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: you should not play it without me
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: here is why
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: remember when i got HALO
[15:31] BetterOffAloneSB: and you came over and played it
[15:31] BetterOffAloneSB: and we were double gunning on that
[15:31] BetterOffAloneSB: ‘thog
[15:31] BetterOffAloneSB: .
[15:31] BetterOffAloneSB: that is why
[15:32] The Gun Show: you…son of a bitch…
[15:32] The Gun Show: you’re going to bring the ‘thog into this?
[15:32] The Gun Show: i have the chance to play halo3 till i pass out tonight…and you are seriously going to put that kind of guilt on me?
[15:32] BetterOffAloneSB: im sorry dude
[15:32] BetterOffAloneSB: just think it through
[15:32] BetterOffAloneSB: i have no doubt you will make the right decision
[15:33] BetterOffAloneSB: just remember who suited up as master chief right next to you, followed you through battling the flood
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: who helped you solve the mystery of the flood with Cortana
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: who went the distance with you side by side against the covenant
[15:35] BetterOffAloneSB: who was with you when us and cortana rescued Captain Keyes, Captain of the Pillar of Autumn
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: Who was recruited by 343 Guilty Spark to retrieve the index that Activated HALO and stopped the flood from spreading
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: who high fived you and screamed "DOBLE!" at the top of his lungs when misting some poor bastards head with a sweet sniper shot
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: I dont know you any more
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: you are a ghost
[15:37] BetterOffAloneSB: good. i hope you are speechless
[15:37] BetterOffAloneSB: turncoat
[15:46] The Gun Show: so now with each well placed round i put into the brains of the flood, with each well laid plan to out flank the covanent, with every squeez of the trigger…all im going to feel is the weight of guilt now…
[15:48] BetterOffAloneSB: i should hope so
[15:49] The Gun Show: But why would you want me to be unhappy?  As my friend you should respect my want…no my duty…my calling…my destiny to carry on the fight.  to protect our planet from those who wish to use the halo for wrong…  You should be encouraging me with words like "get out there case…"  " GIVE EM HELL!"
[15:50] The Gun Show: and showering me with praise…saying "thank you…you dont know how much it means to both me and my family that you would put your life on the line for our saftey…i wish to one day be as courageous as you"
[15:52] BetterOffAloneSB: yeah.  if i was an understanding, considerate team player, i could see myself saying that.  Painting your codename: "DEUCE" on the side of your master chief helmet with a pair of aces beneath…perhaps raising the roof as you scored a headshot on some poor covenant bastard.  Unfortunately.  I can’t do that.  I am pissed that I did not pre order.  I am bitter, jealous, angry, and will guilt trip you so bad you can not enjoy one second of HALO3 without me.
[15:53] BetterOffAloneSB: WAIT!  I retract all previous statements!  Just got off the phone with my buddy at circuit city - they still have some in stock and are holding for me!  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[15:53] BetterOffAloneSB: FUCKIN’ A bud - get out there!
[15:55] The Gun Show: LETS DOOOOOOOO THIS!
[15:55] BetterOffAloneSB: i got your back
[15:55] BetterOffAloneSB: you know that
[15:55] BetterOffAloneSB: i didn’t mean any of that shit. srsly
[15:56] The Gun Show: Ian…i just want you to with you luck…and i know you have the Give ‘Em Hell attitude it takes to show those alien bastards the spirit we have
[15:56] The Gun Show: ill be back..i gotta run down the street to the post office.
[15:57] BetterOffAloneSB: HOOOAAA
[15:57] The Gun Show: there is rumour that the flood is attacking the stamp machine…and i need to take charge down there.  SBPD has their heads up their asses. 
[15:57] The Gun Show: i also need to get some stamps
[15:57] BetterOffAloneSB: mother of god.

This one goes out to Casey.  Nothing better than stumbling completely hammered down the street in PB drunkenly discussing our favorite South Park episodes:

[13:54] The Gun Show: Rob Schneider is about to find out that being a cd jewel case…aint so great
[13:55] BetterOffAloneSB: Rob Schneider is about to find out that being an ipod aint so great due to poor battery life
[13:56] The Gun Show: rob schneider is…AN EAR BUD…and he’s about to find out being an ear bud aint so great…cause ear buds are the most uncomfortable thing i have ever put in my ear…that includes the time i punctured my ear drum with a q tip
[13:57] BetterOffAloneSB: ahhahahah
[14:00] BetterOffAloneSB: Rob Schneider is a Turp De Der.  But hes about to find out that being a derp de der de dum aint so great. de turp de dur tum de dum
[14:04] The Gun Show: from the makers of "der" and "tur derpty dur"

Casey and I were discussing the good times we used to have whilst living together up in Santa barbara. We came to the conclusion that we have so many hilarious stories that is would be criminal to keep the from the public. Not to mention a few videos cataloging the good times. That being said, I’d like to kick off the segment with an awesome clip from Fernandos. Where we used to live at the old 1631 San Andres st, there was a liquor store directly across the street. The liquor store was run by a middle aged asian man named Num Q. (Apparently he had bought the place from the previous owner, Fernando)

Fernando was so awesome - he always knew exactly what we wanted (and this was before some of us were 21, too). He always kept the buy 1 get 2 free packs of parliament lights for us in the back, and every friday knew to have 32oz bottles of Samuel Smith’s oatmeal stout cold for us, because there is no better way to kick off a night. Of course there were a few incidents over there, a shooting one night…but most of the time it was just a source of good old underage drinking.

Notice how, in this first video, Casey is noticeably drunk. This is because we had already finished a few bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 before heading over to Nando’s that night to pick up a few more bottles of Boones Farm. This was clearly a stupid idea, because we were half drunk and half jacked up on sugar, which turned out to be a bad combo.

I could barely keep a straight face in this one because Nando was behind the counter cracking up as Casey and I were trying to shoot this video. There is more to it somewhere, but I can’t figure out what i did with the clips. more to come!

So most of my scholastic career I have avoided school dances like the plague. I only got sucked into 2 total, one of which wasn’t even my own, I went cause a good friend of mine wanted me to go with her to hers (I’m a really great guy). So lets do some math: from 6th grade till your senior year of high school you are hit with at least 4 different school dances; Homecoming, Winter Formals, Some kind of spring event like Sadie Hawkins (which puts the power in the hands of a woman to choose who she would like to have squire her about for the evening…sadly…I never got asked…now I have issues). And last but not least…the grandee finale of them all…the last big blow out, wallet draining, virginity robbing “I’m drunk for the first time ever, and all inhibitions are to the wind” dance…the PROM. So all together if you multiply the 7 years of school by the aprox. 4 socialite cult gatherings each of those years, you come to a rough total of 28 opportunities to have “the best night of your life”.
So here’s where I’m going with this…each enchanted evening has its own “theme” right? I believe mine was called “midnight masquerade”. It wasn’t anywhere near what I expected…it was at the Elks Lodge in Goleta, and I didn’t even score after. You would think the associated student body would put more heart and soul into their work…maybe go the extra mile to think of a great theme for prom/other dances. If people took more pride in it maybe I would have shed a bit of my anti-soc attitude and attended cause the themes were cool.
I’ll now show you EXACTLY why I’m spilling this on you…why I feel that people need to really brainstorm to draw out the masses…

Whom ever spear headed the planning of this dance should…NAY…must go down in history as the greatest party planner of all time. For all I know they are… What I don know is that I would have DEFINATELY gone to this dance…

Let this be an inspiration for all you young Jr. High – High School student bodies

Who wants to go to Purple Rain Prom with me?
<3- casey

[14:53] The Gun Show: you have to roll in like prince: with a hot asian bitch on one arm…and one hot white bitch on the other arm…and a flock of black chicks
[14:54] BetterOffAloneSB: word
[14:54] The Gun Show: look at that kids face deuce
[14:54] The Gun Show: he’s ready for action…100%
[14:55] BetterOffAloneSB: I would be too if i standing next to a sweet harley with a smokin babe
[14:56] The Gun Show: yeah dude…he is undeniably harnessing the power of the hog.
[14:56] BetterOffAloneSB: and that babe is totally falling for it
[14:57] BetterOffAloneSB: where did u find this picture
[14:57] The Gun Show: dude…look at his face…totally in pre wink
[14:57] The Gun Show: you know the camera dude on the other side is throwing him a covert thumbs up
[14:58] BetterOffAloneSB: i hate to use the word
[14:59] BetterOffAloneSB: “duh”
[14:59] BetterOffAloneSB: that dude can barely concentrate on how smoking hot his date is because he is sprung on that harley
[14:59] The Gun Show: i was googling images of “purple rain” so i could set it up as my back ground on the space since the hackers wrecked my wolf picture
[15:00] BetterOffAloneSB: man…internet gold
[15:02] BetterOffAloneSB: that look on his face is just like “what bitch”
[15:02] BetterOffAloneSB: uhhh
[15:02] The Gun Show: yeah dude…20 bucks says before the flash bulb even fully exstinguished itself that kid threw his betty onthe back of that chopper, kick started that bad boy…reved it loud and proud…dropped it into first…let out a Rebel Yell…smoked the tires on the dance floor and rode off into the sunset towards the nearest motel 6
[15:03] BetterOffAloneSB: well said
[15:04] The Gun Show: its just the truth
[15:04] The Gun Show: im calling it like i see it
[15:04] BetterOffAloneSB: straight shooter
[15:05] The Gun Show: you know me